“PND is a ‘mum thing’.”

As an actor, I’ve witnessed the power of storytelling spark meaningful, even lifechanging conversations. You can never underestimate the impact it can have on a person. Whether it be watching something in the cinema, the theatre, your front room or even on your phone, the minute you have something or someone to relate to, it can be a huge turning point to make a pivotal change and seek help if you need it.

My wife is also an actress and during her first pregnancy with our daughter, she continued filming her long-standing character, ‘Tracy’ in Emmerdale and was part of a postnatal depression storyline.

It was hugely impactful and she received hundreds of messages of support thanking her for shedding a light on such a hugely important and relatable subject. Not only that, having watched the storyline myself, I too felt educated and determined to support her on her journey as a new mum.

I knew the signs to look out for. When our daughter came along, it was a magical time. An emotional rollercoaster of course but we both took each day in our stride. My biggest role yet, ‘dad’ had been presented in front of me and how great that I didn’t even have to audition for it.

People asked me if I had any expectations about becoming a father and I’m not sure if I truly did but I did know I was up for the challenge and determined for this role to be my best one yet.

However, a few months in, I experienced a shift in my mental health that caught me off guard. I didn’t know what was wrong, but I knew I wasn’t ok. My wife came home one day and we both opened up to each other that we were finding it hard. Most days, I wouldn’t say anything. How could I? What could I possibly have to complain about compared to her role?

I usually swallowed it down, but I knew this time I needed to communicate how I was feeling. The only issue was, I just didn’t know how. I simply said…“I feel like ‘Tracy’, I feel like your character in Emmerdale”. That was my only reference point. Everything was feeling like a struggle and things had clearly been building up.

After that, I really wanted to understand more about my journey into fatherhood, to find out if what I was experiencing was normal and what conversations were being had about it, if any.

It became clear that whilst there is a community out there for men struggling with their mental health during the perinatal period, there simply isn’t enough being done about it.

The emotional intensity of new parenthood combined with a lack of open dialogue for fathers, inspired me to research and reflect on the hidden struggles many dads’ face. What I found was a gap, both in support and in representation on screen.

The catalyst to write 'finding calm' was born out of that silence. It’s a story I felt compelled to tell, not just for myself, but for every dad navigating the wonderful but challenging quiet storm of early fatherhood. I truly hope the film opens the door to more conversations, understanding, and much needed support.

Toby’s early fatherhood moment; leaving hospital with his daughter.